“They came out with another Tactics game for the DS.” {in a very excited, ‘I cant wait to get my hands on it’ voice}
“Whats that?”
“The game I was playing while you were in labor with the kid and this baby.”
“Oh. So does this mean I have to have another baby so you can play the new one?”
{dead stare}
Add comment June 29th, 2007
Baby j (the kid) has become quite an independent soul. After waking up at some ungodly hour in the morning and our desperate attempts to get extra minutes of shut eye, we all get up to eat breakfast. The husband goes and gets bagels and coffee while I start to get the kid ready for his cereal. I pour his bowl and give him a mini cup with milk to pour himself and told him to get his super big spoon. So, he is all set up and ready to have breakfast. Suddenly, Mr. Independence decided that he didn’t need to eat and declared that he wasn’t hungry. He HAD to play cars in the other room.
When he insisted that he had to go watch a show in the den we told him that he couldn’t until he ate 2 bites of his delicious Captn Crunch which was peacefully waiting on the table, dying to be eaten. After much whining, pleading and negotiating he finally caved and ate his 2 bites of his cereal. I guess what was supposed to be 2 spoonfuls to us was 2 single pieces of cereal.
Kudos to the kid for outsmarting his parents. 2 is 2 and we had to give him that.
Add comment June 10th, 2007
Categories: Baby J (The kid)
I apologize. I have fallen off the writing wagon and I decided I wanted to get back on. If anyone still checks this site after a year, please keep checking back. I am sure there will be more to come.
Let me catch you up on this past year. Nothing too exciting except for the fact that we got pregnant and are due with our new baby girl within days. I have had a pretty uneventful pregnancy and with baby J, nothing stays boring or calm. I will be referring to him as ‘the kid’ as opposed to ‘baby J’ because it is just going to get way too confusing and with preggo brain and mommy brain (which is worse than preggo brain) I am going to get the kids confused. Not that one being a tiny, itty bitty, crying baby girl and a 40 pound non-stop, loud and very opinionated toddler boy would make me rememeber the difference.
So please stick around. If I can dig up some dirt from the past few months, get it down in writing. Happy to see you.
Add comment June 10th, 2007
Categories: Uncategorized
In the light of being creative and trying to expand the mind of my little boy we let him watch a TV show called Oobi. Its pretty much like all the other shows, but instead of people as characters, they use hands. So when J has nothing else he wants to do or if he is trying to postpone the inevitable nap or bedtime he starts to talk with his hands.
“Hi! What a doin?” he will say with one hand and then the conversation starts and usually finishes with his hand trying to chomp on yours. That’s when the fun ends and I tell him he has to stop or the hand-eating monster is going to come and chew his fingers off one by one.
One afternoon he decided that his hand puppets needed to have clothes so he dug out a pair of tube socks that are too small for his feet and had 2 green stripes at the top. He places one on one hand and starts to talk with it. Cute, right? Then he wants the other hand covered so they both can talk to each other while they are dressed. So I give up and I leave him in his room to talk to himself, or to his hands. He falls asleep with his hands well dressed and when I go in there to wake him, he pops up and started to have a conversation between the two hands again. I figured the nap just interfered with the conversation.
He kept taking the socks off and putting them back on. This is a difficult thing if you have never been successful with putting socks in the proper place, your feet. He insisted he do it with no help. I thought this was a good distraction and started to strip him of his naptime shorts and diaper, which, by the way, was very full. I start to get ready for the rest of the day and try to dig out a pair of shorts and look for a clean diaper. I also had some laundry to organize in his room so I start to do that and then suddenly I hear in a loud and very proud voice, “IT FITS!” I start to talk to him as I am preoccupied with the laundry and other adult concerns and I say things like ‘That’s great!’ and ‘Good job!’ and ‘Can you do it again?’ He then starts to giggle and says it again “It fits, Mommy!” My curiosity gets the better of me at this point because socks on hands are not so funny anymore. We know he can do that. So I turn towards him and he says it again while looking down at the sock. “It fits, Mommy.”
“Um, yea I see that. It’s a perfect fit!” {on your penis!} And he laughs hysterically. I take it and put it straight into the hamper. I couldn’t stop laughing myself.
Add comment August 22nd, 2006
Categories: Baby J (The kid)
“My son just ate Ketchup for his dinner. Everything else is exactly how I gave it to him.”
“Thats a vegetable, right?”
1 comment July 31st, 2006
Categories: Baby J (The kid) > Dialogue
Ever since baby j was an ity bity little person I have always been fascinated with him while he sleeps. He is so peaceful and all the terror, temper tantrums, scraped knees, toy throwing, hitting, and water splashing just seem to disappear. I have spent countless hours lying next to him watching him breathe. I would watch him sleep so peacefully and just thank the force that has given him to me. With his eyes closed and his steady breaths he is an angel. The perfect sound comes out of him every so often and my heart just melts. A sigh. That, my friends, is the most perfect sound.
He now cuddles with his Simba doll that sports his Mets T-shirt because it doesn’t fit him anymore. Every night I come into his room to adjust his blanket and make sure both of them are properly covered and centered on the bed. I push baby J’s hair back and give him a gentle kiss and tell him I love him. Lately he will talk in his sleep and say ‘Hi, mommy. What a doing?’ and I will just simply respond ‘Tucking you in and giving you a kiss, baby.’ He doesn’t open his eyes or get up. He will just turn over and go back to his good nights sleep.
This has to be the best part of my every day. I cannot go to sleep without this routine. Without saying a peaceful goodnight to my baby. This is a moment that makes you forget how difficult it is to be a parent. How exhausted you are every day. It just makes you feel love that you just never thought you could feel.
1 comment June 17th, 2006
Categories: Baby J (The kid)
I think I may start a category just for tantrums. I am sure I would have more of those than anything these days. Today’s was about independence. I went in to get Baby J out of bed and to start his day. We had to get going and get dressed so we can eat and go to class this morning. He was in a good mood and was playing in the mirror. So while he was making funny faces I figured I would drop his sleeping shorts and get the diaper off as quick as I could since getting him undressed and dressed is becoming a continuous battle. As the shorts hit the floor it was like I flashed his ex-girlfriend that had never seen his parts. Immediately, and as I am ripping his pee-soaked diaper off, he lifts his shorts up. He is holding it high by his stomach but the back end hasn’t passed over his back end. So in his attempt to try to keep his dignity, he runs to the door to hide from me screaming that he wants his SHORTS ON. I don’t fight him and just try to reason with a two a year old. What was I thinking?
“You can keep your shorts on as long as I put on a clean diaper”
“No new diaper”
“Mommy doesn’t want you to pee-pee on the floor. We need to wear a new diaper”
“No pee-pee da foor”
“Honeybear, we have to wear a diaper to go eat our breakfast”
“NO”
“I promise that you can wear your sleepy shorts…”
“Uh-oh!” {with a serious look on his face}
“What?”
“Pee-pee on da foor, Mommay.”
Yup! There it was. He walked over to me and pointed to the wet spot he had created on his beautiful carpeting. He immediately let me put a diaper on after that. I guess it was either a diaper or I make him sit on the potty all day.
Add comment June 8th, 2006
Categories: Baby J (The kid) > Dialogue
Baby J is at the front door kicking and screaming at the top of his lungs. I have dinner on the table and he is covered in whatever he has been playing with outside. Most likely a mixture of bubbles and dirt. All he wants to do is play with his friend that is still outside. The high-pitched squealing gets louder and louder. The tears stream down his bright red face. He tries to bang on the door as if it will magically open with his fists. Then he uses his feet. Somehow he gets a few words that sound like “play” “outside” “Allison”. We are not quite sure, but that’s the best we can do.
R is watching this display of emotion with me for many minutes. He looks at me square in the eye and says, “Thank God I get to go back to work tomorrow!”
Add comment June 7th, 2006
Categories: Baby J (The kid) > Dialogue
“Do you ever get up before the kid does?”
“What do you mean?”
“Do you wake up in the morning before he does?”
“Yea, but I go back to sleep until he wakes me up.”
“You can get so much done if you wake up before him.”
“I could but I could get so much done after he goes to sleep at night AND have you help me.”
Add comment May 31st, 2006
Categories: Baby J (The kid) > Dialogue
The other day my husband and I battled a ferocious beast. It was so horrible I had nightmares about it the next day. It all started when I went into the laundry room to reheat what was in the dryer so I can fold it all hot while watching my Law and Order finale’s. There it was not even two feet next to me and I swear it was the uglyest beast I have ever seen. Worst than the one I saw in College that the experts couldn’t even identify. We used to call them Rodney bugs because they were typically found in the Rodney dorms and they looked like a cross between a roach and a cricket and some other bug. That was so long ago.
The beast I found sitting silently in my laundry room was a big old nasty spider. It was sitting facing downward on a nicely folded blanket that I use to curl up infront of the TV with. I know it was waiting for me to get closer and attack me. That thing was vicious and absolutely ready to invade my home. It probably was calling its troops as I looked at it and screamed at the top of my lungs and backed away from it without taking my eyes off of it. The husband jumped up from his computer desk so fast it was amazing. He reacted as if I lit my hair on fire and couldn’t stifle the flames.
He asks me what happened and I tell him there is a humongous spider in there. I am jumping and cringing and getting all the heeby jeebies just telling him about it. He looks into the laundry room and he immediately freaks out. I am sure he was expecting one of those typical spiders that you find around the house that are not as scary in comparison and seem pretty easy to get rid of. But, nope. This one was big and hairy and grosser than the scene where Ben Stiiller gets his face squished on a hairy mans sweaty chest in “Along Came Polly”.
I immediately run for the camera to take a picture of it. The husband runs to the garage to find something to catch it with. It’s amazing how different our first instincts are. I go to take a picture while R digs for a tree trimmer and a clear box. R’s intentions were quite obvious but I had to get this picture. I had to show my bug expert and ask her what it was and WHY THE HELL WAS IT IN MY HOUSE??!! My poor friend has had to experience all my bug woes over the years but I think this time both R and I entertained her quite well.
I send the picture to my friend and call her. While we are on the phone R and I try to come up with a strategy on how to get it out of our home. My friend tells me that this is not a bug to fuck around with it, that we should just get rid of it. She goes on speakerphone while we gear up to battle the beast. We argue over who is going to nudge it and who will step on it. I could swear that for a good 10 minutes this was going on. And of course, the bug expert is on the line listening to us bicker at each other.
“You know I can’t go near spiders.”
“What? Neither can I.”
“Yes you can, your just making that up.”
“I was the one who found it, you get to kill it.”
“That’s not fair.”
“Yes it is.”
“We should capture it and study it.”
“What the hell for? Its big and disgusting and it has to die.”
So the husband holds the tree trimmer firmly and I am trying to hold the flashlight steady because you know by now the damn thing moved into the dark folds. I try to back away as far as I could in the room and R just kept pushing me forward because it was my job to step, capture or keep an eye on it. Whichever was needed. So as R is poking and prodding the hairy monster, it moves. It keeps moving even after we were able to get parts of it off. R started to beat the blanket and it finally stopped moving. It was in a whole bunch of pieces, on the blanket that was now on the floor. All while R was doing his thing with the tree shears I am squealing and freaking out and I actually believe R was too. You would have to ask my friend that was still on the speakerphone listening to our episode of “how not to kill a spider”.
After the massacre we carefully looked at all the pieces of that nasty monster on my beautiful blue snuggle blanket. R asked me what we are going to do with it and I immediately say,
“We are going to throw it out.”
“How are you going to get it off that blanket?”
“Are you kidding me, I’m not going to touch that thing again.”
“You mean your gonna throw the whole blanket away?”
“You bet your ass I’m throwing it away. Unless you want to sleep with it again?”
“Ill go get you a bag.”
It took a lot of maneuvering and a bit of bravery to get the bag over the blanket without touching anything. I did get that whole blanket in there and its ready for the garbage men to take the spider to its final resting place.
R and I went back to our computers. There is nothing like some couple bonding.
1 comment May 26th, 2006